


If I Die Tonight

by emilywritesfics



Series: Tumblr Prompts [19]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/M, Firefighter Bellamy, Paramedic Clarke, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-27
Updated: 2016-04-27
Packaged: 2018-06-04 22:57:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,663
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6678850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emilywritesfics/pseuds/emilywritesfics
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Their flirting and snarky, sarcastic comments had always been the basis of their friendship, but sometimes the lines were blurred. Their banter turned from friendly to flirting, and Clarke hated that it made her have feelings for Bellamy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If I Die Tonight

**Author's Note:**

> Anonymous asked for Bellamy as a firefighter.  
> Beta'd by snowfllake on tumblr
> 
> (If Lexa's death bothered you, you probably don't want to read this)

Bellamy and Clarke had always had an odd relationship. When Clarke had come to the station as a paramedic, Bellamy had already been working there for a few years. The firefighters and the paramedics had always had a friendly rivalry that sometimes got out of hand. As in most jobs, the newbie was always the one to be picked on, and the way that people were picked on was flirting. It was part of the rivalry, so firefighters flirted with paramedics, and paramedics flirted with firefighters. It was mostly harmless and always a bit funny to watch become people become very flustered.

On Clarke’s first day, Bellamy was the firefighter who was bestowed the honour of flirting with Clarke. Going up to her, Bellamy didn't know how to feel. He hated flirting with the young, inexperienced recruits because they always seemed so embarrassed. He was alright with older or more experienced people because they usually rolled their eyes and ignored him. Bellamy wasn’t sure which category she fell into. He went up to her anyway, put on his best smirk, and delivered his line. She stared at him for a moment before throwing back a sarcastic response, and they had been flirting back and forth ever since.

After a while, people started calling them the Romeo and Juliet of the station, though neither of them really understood why.

“It’s not like we’re star crossed lovers or anything,” Clarke said. “Number one, we’re just friends; number two, there is nothing stopping us from being together; and, number three, it's not like everyone we’re on two different sides. The paramedics and the firefighters get along just fine.”

“More than fine, in some cases,” Bellamy said, gesturing to Miller and Monty, who everyone knew were dating.

“Exactly,” Clarke said. “If anyone were Romeo and Juliet, it would be them. Calling us the Romeo and Juliet is inaccurate and heteronormative.”

“I love it when you talk dirty,” Bellamy said, his voice an octave lower than normal.

Clarke swatted his shoulder.

* * *

Their flirting and snarky, sarcastic comments had always been the basis of their friendship, but sometimes the lines were blurred. Their banter turned from friendly to flirting, and Clarke hated that it made her have feelings for Bellamy. She didn’t know if he returned her feelings, honestly she wouldn’t be surprised if he did, but they worked together in high-stakes, high-risk jobs, and neither of them were willing to lose someone else they love, so they never explored their feelings.

* * *

One day, Clarke was sitting in the break room. Bellamy and most of the other firefighters were out fighting a fire. They had gotten a call about a store that had caught fire, but the store owner and one of his employees, who both got out just fine, were the only ones there, so only one ambulance had been dispatched.

Everything in their line of work had risk, but this job was comparatively safe, so Clarke didn’t pay attention to what was being relayed over the radio networks.

When the firefighters returned, Clarke could tell something was up. The ambulance didn't return with them, which wasn’t exactly odd but Clarke noticed almost immediately. 

She scanned the returning firefighters for Bellamy so that she could ask him what had happened. She spotted him walking very determinedly towards her. 

Clarke didn’t even have time to think before Bellamy grabbed her face and pulled her into a rough kiss. Startled, Clarke stood rigid until he pulled away.

“What the hell happened out there?” Clarke blurted out.

“You don’t know?” Bellamy asked, out of breath.

“I haven’t been paying attention,” Clarke said, “I thought this was a routine call.”

“A couple of gas can exploded,” Bellamy said, and everything clicked for Clarke. A couple of gas cans had exploded, and someone had been in the blast zone.

“Who was it?” she asked. 

“Atom,” Bellamy said.

“Is that where the ambulance…” Clarke trailed off.

“Um, yeah,” Bellamy said. Clarke could tell he was trying not to cry. “They took him to the hospital, but I saw him and it- it doesn’t look good.”

Atom didn’t last the night. Everyone took it hard.

* * *

It wasn’t until the next week that Clarke brought up the kiss. She had been thinking about it, but there had never been a good time time to bring it up.

“Bellamy,” she said while they were sitting in the break room.

“Hmm?” Bellamy grunted. He was lying on one of the couches with his arms over his face.

“Why did you kiss me?” Clarke asked.

“What?” He asked, lowering his arms and turning his head to look at her.

“Last week, after you came back,” Clarke said, “you kissed me, and I just… why?”

“Oh, that,” Bellamy said, putting his arms back over his face, “sorry. It was just all of the adrenaline, and seeing Atom like that just made me think about if I ever lose you, and… sorry about that.”

“Do you have feeling for me?” Clarke asked.

“Yeah,” Bellamy sighed, lowering his arms once again. “You know how it is, though.”

“Yeah,” Clarke said. “I feel the same way, but I know.”

* * *

Things didn’t change between them, but at the same time they did. They had both known that the feelings were mutual, even it was only subconscious. Clarke and Bellamy still joked around and flirted with each other, but now their feelings were always on the back of their minds.

Clarke hated it. Hated the fact that she had feeling for Bellamy; hated that she couldn’t act on them for fear of losing him; hated that things had already gone too far. She couldn’t love Bellamy because everyone she loved died, and she couldn’t do that to him or to herself, so they did nothing. 

* * *

They did nothing for the next few months. They were still great friends, and they still joked around with each other and flirted with each other and things were the same, except they’re not.

* * *

It stayed like that until Lexa happens.

Lexa, a firefighter from another station, had a sort of casual, on-again-off-again relationship with Clarke. They were currently on a break, and had been for the past three weeks. Clarke wasn't completely sure why she agreed to the relationship, and her insecurities were the source of at least half of their breakups. How could she turn down Bellamy for being a firefighter, but agree to a relationship with Lexa? She rationalized it by telling herself that Lexa didn't mean that much to her. They weren't as close as she and Bellamy were, and if anything happened, Clarke wasn't at risk of being in the position of saving Lexa.

* * *

One afternoon, Clarke and Bellamy's station were fighting a fire downtown with the help of Lexa's station. Things weren't looking good. Clarke and the other paramedics had their hands full with people suffering from smoke inhalation.

Clarke was pulling more oxygen tanks from the ambulance when there was yelling from the direction of the burning building. She looked up and saw a firefighter being carried out of the building. Clarke grabbed a stretcher, and brought it over.

She couldn't immediately tell what was wrong with the injured one.

"What happened?" Clarke asked as they put the injured firefighter onto the stretcher. She started inspecting for injures

"The floor collapsed under her," one said as the other pulled off the injured firefighter's mask.

It was Lexa.

Clarke stopped for a moment when she saw who it was. After a split second she resumed her assessment with increased urgency. She finally found what she was dreading. There was a deep puncture wound in Lexa's back.

"Help me get her out of this coat," Clarke said, and the firefighters started pulling off Lexa's coat.

"Clarke," Lexa gasped, "Clarke."

"I'm here," Clarke said, getting the jacket off of Lexa.

"Clarke," Lexa said, trying to roll so that she could she Clarke.

"Don't move," Clarke said, inspecting the wound. It was pretty bad.

"Clarke," Lexa repeated, still trying to roll over, "it's okay."

"I'm going to fix this," Clarke said. She grabbed some bandages and tried in vain to stop the bleeding. 

“It’s okay,” Lexa repeated.

“Don’t say that,” Clarke snapped, “you’re going to be fine.”

She called over another paramedic, and they rushed Lexa into an ambulance.

“No,” Lexa panted, “I’m not, but it’s okay.”

* * *

Clarke took Lexa’s death hard. She pulled away from everyone, Bellamy especially.

On top of Lexa meaning a lot to her, Clarke hadn’t been able to save her. She hadn’t even made it to the hospital.

During the ride, Lexa had been comforting Clarke. Lexa knew she was dying, and she had been comforting Clarke. Clarke didn’t know if she could ever forgive herself.

Everyone at the station told her that it wasn’t her fault, and the therapist the station made her go to told her the same, but Clarke had a hard time believing it. How was it not her fault? She hadn’t been able to save Lexa. That was her fault.

* * *

She was given a week off, during which she had come to a realization about Bellamy; so, when she got back, Clarke had something she needed to do.

She put her duffel bag into her locker, checked her appearance in the mirror, and headed out of the locker room to find Bellamy. 

Clarke asked around a bit before she spotted him outside the break room. She started walking determinedly towards him.

He spotted her. “Hey, how have-”

He was cut off by Clarke grabbing his collar and pulling him into a kiss.

After a few seconds, she pushed him away.

“I’d rather go through the pain of losing someone I love than never love anyone at all,” She said.

“Are you sure?” Bellamy asked.

Clarke nodded. “Maybe not right now, but I’m not going to let the chance at happiness slip away because I’m afraid.”

“You’ve never been more right,” Bellamy said, pulling Clarke into another kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> [come bother me on tumblr](http://belamygrifin.tumblr.com)


End file.
